I listened to someone recently who complained about a colleague’s views and behavior in a certain situation. This person was frustrated with their colleague’s response and wanted everyone to know except this colleague.
It occurred to me that she actually hadn’t spoken to her colleague about any of it and instead had made a set of assumptions based on an exchange of text messages. Avoiding such difficult conversations comes easy for us.
There’s a saying “Silence is golden but sometimes it’s yellow”. Sometimes we don’t take the initiative to speak with another person out of fear, believing that the matter will just pass by. The problem is that we have the wrong view of these conversations. We tend to see them as confrontational, not constructive. Expectation setting is one of the most valuable things we can do with others. It gives us permission to go back and have a conversation because we’ve set a reference point for doing so.
Don’t avoid talking with that person in your circle. Take the initiative to have the conversations, as tough as it may be. In the end, if it comes from a desire to motivate and help, it will prove to be an invaluable step.